a RUDE Host/Guest

FrumSatire suggestion box.

I like to think of myself as somewhat of a Jewish Martha Stewart. But maybe less monotone, a little friendlier, and definitely without a criminal record. (I'll take the TV show, books and multiple sprawling estates though)

When it comes to table settings and manners, I like to think that I know it all. For one of my childhood birthdays, I asked my mother for this 900-page reference book on Etiquette, which I've read more than a few times cover to cover.

My mother isn't really the type to care where the fork goes or how you hold your spoon (well, maybe a little), so I'm not exactly sure where this 'anal' side of me comes from.

Mind you, I'm really only Martha-esque in my home... For some reason I never really notice other people's manners - only my families'!

But, I will admit that I do have a few pet peeves that some guests do when they come over for shabbos meals. (But PLEEEASE, if you do come over - do NOT feel uncomfortable!) So here they are:

1) When someone does not use the serving utensils.
They are there for a reason! Do not stick your fork/spoon/knife into a salad bowl - thereby contaminating the salad!


2) When the aforesaid serving utensils touch someone's plate.
You know this happens because you hear the clink clink sound of silverware touching china. Again - germs are probably being transferred!

3) When someone uses a piece of bread, their fork, or even (gasp) their finger to remove food from a serving utensil.
I've seen all three with my very eyes - and this is probably one of THE worst offences someone can do at my table. You know the rest of that dish is going straight in the garbage right after.

4) When someone breaks the 'pass' around.
This is when you've kindly asked your guests to pass around a dish, but one guest decides to break the chain and plunk the dish right in front of himself (I'm saying HIMself, because women are almost never guilty of any of these offences).

I'm still considering whether I should add the 'kiddush wine-share' offence. This is when a kiddush-maker drinks from the kiddush cup before sharing the wine with everyone. My father doesn't do this (Baruch Hashem!), but I've been to many Shabbos tables where this occurs. Sometimes I drink anyhow (alcohol kills bacteria right?)... Sometimes I get grossed out and don't... Thoughts?